FUCKED UP

OK, pardon my alarming language please. I've an extremely irritable and grouchy person right now. I had to skip today's COFM meeting with tutors, due to some fucking stupid rituals my extended family organised for my grandpa, who moved on 3 years previously due to AMI and renal failure. And I was "indispensible" since I'm the eldest grandson and had to hold the joss urn or whatever.

Now, I only just reached home at 10.30pm. Can't really articulate what I really want to say here, I'm really seething too much for this, but the point is - if they want to do ridiculous RUBBISH like this, don't pull others into the shit. Now, I don't mind today - I simply missed a once-a-year Red Sea shipment at a farm, I could always hop down right now at 11 to get the leftovers. Which I decided not to do. The thing is, this ritual crap will continue tomorrow. 9am-10pm.

Don't get me wrong - I'm quite alright about the fact that most of my extended family are taoists (OR RATHER, I should say "taoists" - they have no fucking idea what the religion is about, and simply follow blindly. You know what I mean. You have to do this-and-this, you must do that ... and why? Don't ask. Because they have no freaking answer.) My own family's predominantly Theravada Buddhists, except my youngest sis who's a Christian and my dad who's a confused person.

I quite agree that it's worthwhile to hold something to remember my grandparents by, but seriously, on such a scale??? The entire garden in my grandma's house has been decked with canvas, and a gigantic paper effigy they'll burn tomorrow night. Shall include a pic tonight. Yes, that's $6000 fed to the fire.

And those priests ... they are the reason why I was so fucking pissed off. Oh puh-leeaaaseee. All the weirdness about praying to the deceased using 2 joss-sticks and the deities using 3, and about burning 13 gold paper and 13 silver paper. HUH?!? Now, tell me. What are these numbers for? Yeah, yeah, I bet they had a 5000-year-old historical significance. And the 7 "priests" (2 of them really young, I BET MY LIFE they aren't more than 30) were simply mumbling gibberish. And woo-hoo ... the head "priest" was donning a Rolex watch! I mean, WTF. Isn't it so fucking obvious these guys are kind of leeching off people who are gullible enough to pay for their "services"?? Better yet, they were totally unprofessional. One of the "priest's" handphones went off, not once but TWICE during 2 different rites. Chided my dad off about this, but I think he's not going to take me seriously. If this happens again, I'll tell the "priest" myself. Yes, loudly and in front of everyone. I have little patience for unprofessional leeches.

One other thing that's altogether irritating - my grandma was a Buddhist convert, and during the last 2 years of her time she was totally dedicated and the religion really changed her as a person. NOW. My relatives (and my grandpa's sisters or whoever ...) decided to "invite her soul" to the celebration- WOW! I'd love to learn how to invite the souls of past dedicated doctors and get them teach me more. And they offered non-vegetarian stuff. And I'm really put out by this.

Cool it, cool it ... at least my mom's chuffed about it too. Especially about the Taoist management of my grandma's thing, it was clear before she passed away years ago that she left instructions for a Buddhist rite. And traditionally, these rites were quiet affairs. I mean, if you're dead, you're dead. None of the nonsensical bugle-blarind and cymbal-clashing we heard tonight.

Seriously, GET OFF IT AND WAKE UP.