Just realised my blog photos are very organic. Few people, few places. Mostly plants. Shall I post pics of my pets too? Haha ... doubt Flickr will let me upload so many per month. Just thought of a naughty idea - register multiple accounts with free web-based email accounts! Hiak hiak!!

Anyway, just got home from yet another late-night meetup. Bought a 2nd-hand light set for my refugium! Going to post pics of it later .. been a long time since I could properly see my sump area.

Oh yes .. about the strange thoughts on Thurs. It's really a bit creepy, but what happened was that I had this very strong feeling that I was going to die. Seriously. Images started fleeting across, time spun right out of hand, straight to the part where I was lying in the ICU. It's really very morbid thoughts. And somehow, for some strange reason, faces of long-missed connections resurfaced. People whom I have cleanly forgotten about; people whom I've chosen to forget about; people whom have not been totally forgotten but caught up with less frequently than they deserve. Sometimes it's not just the hassle of work; new relationships arise that demand attention as well, and unless everyone forms a relatively tight-knit group where everyone is comfortable with everyone else, there'll never be enough for everyone.

Like today, Ken called me all of sudden in the afternoon. Been like, 2 months since I last saw him? Glad to know he finally made it to ROM! Now waiting for the red invitation card, hehe. And weird memories started to resurface again today. About old friends from my hobbies ... Steven, who also got married some time early last year. Remember it was shocking. Cos I knew him when I was in sec 2, and knew his wife back then too. All a gang of friends, with the most interesting developments. Knew Ken on the very same day too, but see how differently things have turned out? Sean, who still has a couple of pets deposited at my home since he went for his honeymoon. Loved his sugar gliders! Nik, whom I haven't bladed with for EONS. Damn. I miss late-night life. So much .... some of my plant friends still call me once in a while though, even though I'm really very dormant in the circle right now.

The days of frog-catching, getting interrogated by the police on why we were sitting at the side of the kerb eating dumplings at 3am, swimming in the fountain in sentosa, going for prata - good times!!

Being busy in medical school is really a most nasty, downright lousy excuse for not catching up with friends. Seriously. It takes but 5 minute's worth of phone calls to bring back good old times. But again, sometimes things can never be the same again. Never. It's still alarming how some old acquaintances can still remember me on the streets when I have not even the foggiest idea who they are. I can remember events, like going to this person's house (can even remember the block number!) to view his lovely terrariums and Theraphosidae arachnids. But all these, a multitude of them, persist in memory as only people with blank faces. Without names. It's really very bad.

It's never good to dwell on past relationships, but all the same, on certain days like this, I can never help but ponder - what potentially nice friendships that would have blossomed, and how my life would have changed if I had done certain things differently.

The path to depression. I see it clearly, yet still choose to ponder over odd tidbits like this and lead myself down this lane.

Pardon my rambling, I was just thinking out loud. Grey thoughts, Blue memories.