Is anyone out there also freaking out? Or are all of you in full control? I'm feeling awfully lost and like ... groping at facts and half-convincing examination techniques.

Had a 2-hour long tutorial just now by Prof. yx, who grilled me to bare bone (no pun intended) on my knee examination techniques. Had to re-do it a gazillion times before it looked even halfway-decent, and I'm pretty darned sure I'll f* it up still on Tues.

Then we tried the hip. And I got utterly lost. It seems that I'm unable to make a good diagnosis out of anything regarding the hip. First off, I've never seen a single shortened leg - apparent or real. Do we examine the spine too? - in case it's a spinal cause, like muscle spasm? And apparent shortening with pain in the hip ... it could be any number of causes isn't it? How do you differentiate avascular necrosis of the femoral head from a fractured neck of femur in a short case?? I'm banking on the fact that we'll probably not be given an acute #NOF for our test cases, so it they're in a Hamilton-Russel traction maybe it's worth a guess? OK, I'm getting freaked out. FREAKED OUT.

About to launch into hysterics.

Oh, and it doesn't help that later tonight (it's 2am on Sunday already), I'll have to go for a BBQ that I've been MADE to go against my will. Have been very vexed over this, it's really frustrating. But I guess it can't be helped. May lose my already-short temper at the BBQ and shout at certain people. Worse still, my parents and sisters are coming back from Genting tomorrow night, which means I'll probably have to juggle between the goddamn BBQ and fetching my family. It's hell of a long story, but it doesn't look good if I just appear at the BBQ for an hour then scoot off, ALTHOUGH I'M DEARLY ITCHING TO. Who the blazes go to a fun-and-laughter event at CHANGI 2 days before a major test?!?

And someone irritated me today. Dad's manager borrowed my mom's car (f*ed up on this one, drove MY car to school this morning instead when I intended to let him borrow mine) and it came back with almost no more petrol. Arse ... the least you can do is to fill the car up yes?? Been a shitty day. Full of nonsense. And yes, that includes this morning's COFM meeting. Bloody waste of time, once again I'm appalled by the COFM department's thick skin. What's with throwing such nonsense at us??!? Huh?? OK - now, quite apart from being VERY insulted that they are implying we are a bunch of fricking idiots who are what .. part-humans with no feelings, their lovely programmes and foolhardy ideas just had to be imposed on us during hyper-stressful times like near clinical tests. HAH! And huge joke ... this year's professional MBBS exams include the COFM paper. So - it's come to this eh? An exam on how politically-correct you are? Lame, and pathetic. Shades of moral education in pri school.

How did it get to this? I swear I didn't start the blog off with the intent of lamenting, but somehow the anger just broke through. Maybe it's the lowered tolerance treshold during test periods, along with mood swings. It's 2 am now, my headphones had been spoilt for 4 years, or else I'd go play some hard-hitting songs on the organ. Mr. Ye, remember "Kuda Lumping" from almost 7 years ago? It makes for a most wonderful anger-releasing song, I found out. Put the vol to full, and it could be heard from the street across my house according to my mom. Not very nice at 2am. Or I could play the electric guitar version of "Smoke on the Water". Even better. Blast the damn fricking thing.

I need to go calm down, head's starting to spin and throb from hypertension. Maybe the fish tank, yes .. the perfect thing. Can't take hot bath now, I'm almost alone at home and it's creepy. Brownie refuses to accompany me when I take baths due to the suffocating steam, although he's usually fine with being in the toilet during showers. The naughty boy is snoring loudly now. Had a tiring and fun day, since Mariah gave him a treat and brought him out for a walk TWICE in the evening. Came back looking like he had the fun of his life...

Enough. I'm going to take a lie-down. Low back pain due to sitting. Darn this chair as well. Things all start to suck at this point in time. EVERYTHING.