For some strange reason, my groupmates started asking me what "R" stands for. So, after getting quite put off by the wild guesses of names like Royston and blah blah blah, I told them it stands for Rooster. Great. Ha ha ... either you guys find out on your own (the answer is visible on a part of me - and no, I do not have a tattoo), or wait for about hmmm ... 4 years or so.

Anyway, was saved from thrashiness by my sis last night. I was totally struck by the low energy ailment, and didn't mean to exercise at all. But she said she wanted to go, so off we went to ECP again. Wonder how long this can keep up. Since I've been self-banned from aquariums, that energy has to be channelled somewhere.

Desolation starting to hit this morning. Wonder what I'm going to do. Somehow, the odd feeling has never left after 3 weeks, just that small things that warrant attention have been, thankfully - or not - , masking the loneliness. As Will Truman puts it, there's a difference between being alone, and being lonely.

Strange thoughts started to hit in the last 2 days. For a fraction of a second, I was transported to being a man who knows he has a limited amount of time left, and seriously - it's scary. At this age, death and beyond doesn't really hit us in reality. The thoughts come and go, and it's generally acknowledged but not felt. I tell you, it's scary. Maybe a few decades down the road, things will be different, depending on what sort of person I turn out to be. A fulfilled man who's seen and done enough and holds no attachment, or one holding on to dear life and fighting for it everyday. At this point in time, the antioxidants don't sound too bad after all. It's not something I don't enjoy (which is, as I see it, the bane of most healthy-living concepts - the restrictions, bonds and lacklustre life) and so far it's working out good. Whether this hope will be betrayed years down the road, who knows?

Succumbed to taking a bite out of the excellent beef stew last night, after skating. Very bad. No more oranges left (oh dear ... what have I done? Cleaned out the fruits compartment in a few days?!) so I'm banging on green tea for my daily antioxidants.

Oh, and mom discovered my skates. Me and my BIIIIG mouth, I asked who wanted to take my car (my dad was driving too) and mom just flitted across to the van while my sisters gaped and waited in trepidation for the final revelation. But haha .. she appeared so nonchalant about it! Hmmm. Which further increases the guilt. Shit.

Wait. I see a voice. It goes: "Come! Come! Let me open up for you, and let you relish all I offer. Come!"

Dammit. It's Katzung again. The dumb book has been calling all day, guess I'll have to hit it hard then.