Hmm ... a lot of unpleasant happenings in the last day or so. Hopefully, it'll all resolve in good time. I just have to learn to concentrate on what's most important, and learn to forget some things. And, perhaps, not to worry so much.

Was reading through cognitive & behavioral therapy in place of the lecture I missed today, and oddly enough I discovered I've been utilising a lot of the described psychiatric methods without actually knowing it. Perhaps, it's instinctive, but it's all different when an art's being taught as a hard science. A lot of the techniques could apply to me too. I fall into the "Inefficient" kind of Automatic Negative Thoughts - stuff like dwelling in the past, wishful thinking, comparing and excuses.

Anyway, back to my old life for now, spent my free time yesterday making a new batch of coral food. Just for record purposes, these were what I used:

100g fresh cockles, raw and de-shelled
200g mackerel meat
200g fresh shrimp, de-shelled
10ml Salifert Coral Aminoacids
2ml Kent garlic extract
2ml Cyclop-eeze
0.5 teaspoon DT's live oyster eggs
3 capsules cod liver oil

Individually blended each kind of meaty food, at first coming to a large particulate size of approximately 5mm, then combining all 3 types and re-blending till 2-3mm size. Sieved the blend mix through a fine wire sieve in batches, washing off excess nutrients and juices under the tap, and placed in plastic tupperware container to stand. Squeezed in shrimp heads, added liquid and other particulate foods, and left to stand in fridge overnight. I just packed them into 2 bags to be frozen and later will break it up into smaller chunks.

The mackerel was a very bad idea. I've been experimenting with different meats, and so far the 3 that should be avoided are mackerel, fresh ikan bilis and squid. The squid turn into mush in the blender, the mackerel was too fibrous and became mushy too, and the ikan bilis turned an odd grey colour and even the fish refused to eat it. The cockles were great though, nice and bloody and meaty.

Yx reckons I'm overfeeding my tank because of the Dendrophyllia corals, and I've got to admit I've been having to clean the front glass of diatoms more often nowadays. Sigh ... big skimmer, where art thou? And I *know* I don't deserve any more livestock or equipment upgrades. Not a fan of gambling at all (it's a disgusting habit, IMO) but at times like these I just dream of picking up a ticket from the ground and discovering later on it's the winning ticket. =D It's good to be imaginative, they say.